Starfishing by Nicola Monaghan

Author:Nicola Monaghan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House

That weekend was the first I pined for Tom. It was not that God-awful proper pining you get with the love thing, but the wonderful pain of infatuation. The kind of pining that feels good, and only happens at the beginning of a relationship. I enjoyed it, and took it with fresh air and a long walk. Then I went for coffee at Starbucks in Canary Wharf. The shopping arcade was dotted with people and, though it still felt lonely, it was significantly busier than it used to be. I wondered how long the peace would last on my island. I could feel something building, feel the place changing. Barclays were in the process of moving their investment bank out here and I had a feeling the rest of London would follow the golden eagle wherever it went. I sat with a latte fast going cold in front of me, trying to think about this, trying to think about the price of my flat going up, up, up the way I was sure it was about to and how this should make me happy. But all I could think about was Tom; his hands on my hips, his mouth on my mouth. And I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of the weekend without seeing him, without touching him. I had to spend some time with him, even if it meant spending time with Baby too.

I sent him a text. ‘We goin clubbin if u2 wanna cum.’ It was an hour before he replied with a ‘Yeah I wanna cum. Where n wen?’ I knew he’d respond to the innuendo in my message but I suspected he would bring Baby, despite this. I sent him the details.

We were going out in Old Street, meeting for a drink first then off to a club that had recently opened. I took a long time over getting ready; I kept changing my mind about what to wear and cleaned my make-up right off and reapplied it twice. I wore a tiny skirt without tights, my ego winning the fight with any fears I had over the cold of November nights. I checked myself out in the mirror on my way to the door; I looked good.

I was normally too fashionable to arrive early, but I had to get out of the flat that night before I went insane with nervous energy. Only Merrick was there ahead of me. Jase and Iain arrived soon after, the latter not even making eye contact with me before rushing off to the bar. Jase filled the awkward silence, asking me about work. Merrick had just had a promotion, and went on about that for a while. Jase and I let him, catching each other’s eye from time to time and swapping our thoughts on it all without having to say a word.

Iain came back with drinks, finding my eyes for a moment, then jerking his away. I wondered if he was scared of what I might say to him, what I might demand.

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